Day 95: Love Thy Self

From Adonis: 

This ain't for the faint of heart or the squeamish. I want to talk about sex. More specifically masturbation. 

For a single person entering a new dating situation and/or transitioning into a serious relationship, there are certain topics of conversation that are a bit taboo. Things like bathroom goings ons, passing gas, that time of the month, and self pleasuring. As a young male, your friends joke about "knocking one out" before going on the big date. In theory you want to avoid climaxing prematurely, and you want to represent with your superman stamina. Attempting to avoid the worst possible outcomes, either not being able to perform, or being overzealous. I can't speak on the female part of this equation. Ladies, just know that if you're interested in stroking our male ego's, don't "pre-game" to avoid you're own premature climax tendency. 

Moving on to the dating/relationship situation, technology and infotainment accessibility has changed the game. During the courtship, some people tend to let the momentum build, with the expectation that when "it" does happen, it will be the best ever. Some say, fuck it, what are we waiting for. While others pretend that waiting is what they're okay with, but use different means to curb their sexual appetite.  By different means I mean masturbating. Generally speaking, we all do it at some point or another. The only thing differentiating frequency is personality, not sex (male/female). This is my opinion! I know a lot of people that do, and a lot of people that do not. And, like I said, it really comes down to personality. Another factor that may play a role in masturbation, relates to how often a couple has sex. Let me just say, I'm no where near an authority, but I speak on my experiences and the experiences of those who are honest enough with themselves to talk about it openly. Also, I am not taking into account sexual disfunction or conditions that prevent sexual activity.  That said, I've noticed that couples who have sex more often, masturbate less. However, couples that have sex often, but have busy lifestyles that interrupt normal sexual patterns, masturbate often. SIngle men and women with healthy sexual appetites masturbate more often than those who have not been in a relationship for a long time or in one at all. So I guess I can clean that up and surmise that people who go shorter periods between relationships/dating masturbate more than those who do not. If I had to guess why, I'd say because at some point, you become accustomed to not having sexual activity and experience a lower drive. Did I lose you?

Couples that don't have a high sex frequency tend not to masturbate as often. Remember, I am not including the possibility of sexual disfunction in either partner. However there is an important point that I want to make. This relates more so with males. Masturbating often can disrupt your normal sexual pattern. You may find yourself satisfied all to often using pornography, such as on the internet. With high use comes satiation. All that means is to satisfy fully and to excess. Meanwhile your partner is wondering what happened to the booty. It can lead to force of habit, and even addiction. There can come a point where you are more satisfied by your own sexual stimulation, than sex with your partner. This can be devastating to your relationship. However, its a reality we deal with. At any given time, all I have to do is get on my computer and fulfill a sexual fantasy with whomever I like. There's no wine-ing and dining, no thank you, your welcome, or awkward goodbye. The computer and other sources/objects of sexual stimulation cater to the primal urges we have. Its like feeding the Id, you're a child without the ability to understand, not right now. You ignore that patience will be rewarded. Meanwhile, your partner thinks all of your hard work has led to your carpal tunnel, shame. 

Sometimes its simple. Your partner doesn't have the same sexual drive as you. So, instead of cheat, you masturbate. I mean, we're only human right. If your partner doesn't want to satisfy you, you have to do it yourself. This doesn't give you free reign to find ass somewhere else. Let's be adults and talk about it. I wonder how it can still be a taboo issue after all is said and done. I know it can come from the way one is raised, or the company you keep. But in a relationship, you need to have open communication. Sex is one of those things you have to communicate about. Especially when it comes to masturbation. I used to think, damn, what happens if she walks in and catches me. That was until I woke up one day and said self, yes, who cares? You should, my self said (lol), so I said, why should I care? There's a reason why I'm doing this. And that reason is because we haven't, or we're not going to be able to have sex. So, I'm doing this to cool my heels. If your partner can't understand that, then they need to participate. If you disagree, believe what you want and just use this as an excuse if you get caught. That way, everyone wins. 

From Diana:

             ...Yeah, what he said.  Here is a bonus picture for ya:

The view from a meeting room at work